November 2011

A question many people seem to be asking is why Matt McQueary, a strapping 6’4” man in his 30’s, did not step forward and actively intervene when he allegedly saw Coach Jerry Sandusky brutally raping a 10 year old boy in a shower on Penn State facilities.

Recently, New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote an article describing how the human mind, when confronted with horror, rushes a “protective filter” into place to steer awareness away from what threatens.  For Mike McQueary, a former quarterback who had been a player on a team coached by the revered Sandusky, the scene must have been shocking to the core, even to the point of physical (and moral) paralysis.  That McQueary reported the event to Paterno was truly laudable, but, as has been reported, at some point further down the line, a blind eye was again turned by many to Sandusky’s continued involvement with young children. As David Brooks says, it is easy for us to pass judgment.  However, we would be wise to take into account the fact that in groups engaged in dangerous activities, where members are dependent on each other for their physical well-being and even their lives (military units, police units, football teams), a band of brothers mentality exists, which puts the unit, and the protection of it’s members, ahead of the welfare of “outsiders”, even the vulnerable and weak.

Thus, in war, atrocities by soldiers against civilians may be ignored or denied by follow soldiers. Police abuse of suspects may be swept under the carpet.  Also, among NFL and elite college players, the sexual abuse of girlfriends, dates, or wives has historically been under-reported and tolerated by teammates (though this is progressively changing).

The Sandusky incident is certainly not unique.  Historically, sexual abuse of children by youth sport coaches has occurred right up to the collegiate and Olympic level.  It is, therefore, not a huge stretch to imagine Sandusky behaving similarly toward the young charges in his non-profit organization.  In addition, the sustained success of Joe Paterno and the Penn State football program, the esteem in which they were held, and the pride that they engendered, were so integral to the identities of all who lived in State College, and even nearby Harrisburg, that it is not surprising that “a blind eye” may have also been turned by many when it came to forcibly intervening in this case. 

The sports essayist and writer Rick Reilly made a striking point on ESPN’s Sports Center recently, when he mentioned that the moment of silence taken before the Penn State-Nebraska game to commemorate the victims was, though fitting, quite ironic. Ironic because the problem at Penn State was silence.  Reilly went on to advocate that all of us start to take the same approach to child abuse that we do toward terrorism. “When you see something, say something”.  This would turn the horrible events at Penn State into a teaching moment, extending even down to the Little League level.  When a parent observes a coach or another parent abusing a child from the side lines, for example, such behavior should be immediately reported to the director of the league.  If the behavior continues, a follow-up with the head of the Dept. of Recreation in one’s town is indicated, and so on up the line until there is a clear stoppage of the abusive behavior.

In youth sports, and in other aspects of our children’s lives, there is too much silence, and too little proactive intervention when it comes to bullying, and also when child abuse is suspected, whether verbal, physical or sexual in nature.  As the authors Jeff Benedict and Don Sabo separately pointed out in the 1990’s while studying NFL players who seemingly tolerated a teammate’s abuse of women, “in male bonded groups, most men are passive onlookers”.  That passivity, and not just in high profile athletic programs, has to change, or more events like the Jerry Sandusky affair will continue much longer than is necessary.

Finally, with Thanksgiving coming, what is a parent to say to his/her 10 year old child when the topic of Jerry Sandusky comes up.  It has been all over the air waves and new allegations come forth daily. Again, this can be a teaching a moment, where parents reiterate to their children that they must never let an adult, even a coach or teacher,  touch them in a private area.  Additionally, a strategy should be given to empower the child so that, if an adult does cross the line, the child can immediately, loudly, yell “No!” and flee the scene as quickly as possible toward a safe place or adult. 

Again, silence is the enemy, saying something is the cure.

September 1, 2011

 Venus Williams diagnosis

Fatigue can be the product of anxiety, the anxiety of not knowing what is wrong.  Anxiety and fatigue then sap confidence, which leads to more anxiety, more fatigue, etc.

The fact that Venus Williams now has a diagnosis is going to help her greatly. All elite athletes want to be “in control” of athletic situations and of their bodies.  Having a disease with a name to explain the fatigue will greatly reassure Venus.

I do feel she will come back, as athletes love to have something to fight, and Venus now has an opponent that has been named.  She will develop a game plan and attack it.

Dr. Kamm’s response to the New York Times article (11-21-07) on “Child Bull-fighters in Mexico”

Eleven years ago when Jessica Dubroff, aged 7, attempted to become the youngest person to pilot a plane across the country, people were in awe, and the media excitedly chronicled her every stopover.  How precocious, how brave!

 It was only after Jessica crashed and died that people came to their senses and asked, “What was a 7 year old doing flying an airplane?  How could her parents (her father died in the crash as well) have allowed this?”

These questions will be asked again in Mexico when the first underage bull-fighter dies. (Child Matadors, Draw Oles in Mexico’s Bullrings, A-1, 11/19/07).  As parents, our prime responsibility is to guide and protect our children.  A child under 17 lacks the capacity for truly informed consent, the capacity to fully understand the danger inherent in an enterprise as risky as bull-fighting.

 Unlike child participants in violent and extreme sports in this country, the young matadors mentioned in the article wear no protective equipment, and there are no referees to control and modulate the violence. In addition, the force that the Mexican children face is unpredictable and hell-bent on injuring them.  By contrast, in a sport such as extreme skateboarding, the force a child is facing – gravity – is a benign and predictable one.

 I am concerned that this is yet another example of Achievement by Proxy Disorder, a term coined by Ian Tolfer, characterized by parents who view their children as objects and subject them to risky sacrifice in order to fulfill their own unconscious needs.

 A parent should not allow their son or daughter, even if the child loves it, to put themselves fatally at risk just because “this is what he wants to do”.